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Yeah, I can flirt…

Yeah I can flirt. Seems to work well.. I get the number if I want it.

My heart sank. He touched my hand and kissed my cheek. Like a gentleman.

We parted and I sat in my car and cried like a little baby. He wasn’t you.

He remembered my name from the first time we met. We talked for hours and I am not sure what we even talked about.

All I could think about was that it wasn’t you.

People have no problem with multiple relationships. So why do I have a problem getting one?

I love you. I never wanted anyone else.

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Tired and just done.

I want a safe place. A place to just be ok…

I miss the safety of arms that don’t exist to me anymore.

I miss being good at something that made someone else happy.

I am tired of falling just short of the goal. Just short being good enough..

Enough. My heart aches heavily. The toll of grief weighs unbearable.

I just want it all to stop. Enough.

I got irritated with the shitshow of online dating awhile back and deleted much of my information, however some ‘generic’ setting now has me as seeking 70 and older men.

For real.

I keep getting creepy emails from 70+ guys wanting to show me a good time. My 39th birthday is two weeks away so I am already feeling sensitive about my age and just add the geriatric emails to that and I am having a roaring good time.

I will be getting my Bengay via AmazonPrime now. And Centum Silver is on tap.

Authenticity is sexy.

Today I was reminded again how things can change in a second. My daughter’s friend had an accident right in front of our house this evening. She is ok. The other person was ok.

As I consoled her friend and then her mom, I was reminded how suddenly and scary it is when things like that happen. How truly alone you feel.

In a split second, things change. And never the way that you wanted them to go. Life can be ripped away in a second. Don’t ever keep how you feel about someone to yourself. It is better to have someone think you are crazy than for them to not know that you loved them.

I just miss you.

I miss you more than words can say. No one has ever made my heart sing the way that you can.

I wish I could take my heart back. But it has found its place and will accept nothing less.

I don’t think it is by accident or coincidence that no one has come along to fill that aching void.

It is a powerless feeling.

I just miss you with all of my heart.

A piece of gum?

Someone once suggested that you should compare rejection to offering a person a piece of gum and getting turned down.

First of all, you can’t compare offering someone your heart to offering someone a stick of gum.

A stick of gum doesn’t shatter into a million pieces. A heart is fragile in it’s most vulnerable state. That state is the moment that you offer it to another. When the other person rejects that most fragile part of you, it becomes a reflection of your own choices. “How could you think you were good enough for that person?” Once again you fail.

Exquisite in it complexity and beauty, once the heart has been given and accepted by another, it grows exponentially stronger. The bonds between the two people grow stronger and protect the two hearts that have been exchanged. Nothing can break a nurtured bond.

Gum. Yeah right.