Migraine hell again

•October 25, 2019 • Leave a Comment

I hate feeling lost and alone when I am in pain or sick. More than any other time.

I think it magnifies the enormous feelings of vulnerability.

My vision is affected this time around, rapid eye movement ‘stutters’, floaters, sound distortion, balance distortion and nausea are ALL present this time.



I wish there was a point where I would know that I am capable.

•October 23, 2019 • Leave a Comment

I have been in this job for well over a year now and I still do not feel like I know what I am doing.

When will I know? When will I feel like I belong in a role that is so outside of my norm?

I started my career as a secretary and in my mind, that is all I deserve to be.

In the last week, I have pulled resumes, set up interviews, ordered office furniture for a new office set up, pulled off a huge event that was a year in the making, sent out bills, submitted 6 filings, completed a google directory update, ordered and set up a new front door glass, managed a leak in the fire sprinkler system, managed our new property, quarter end taxes, payroll x2, two employees out sick, calendaring and travel arrangements, next years event reservations, recycling program set up in our office, document destruction of 30 cases of records and 50 more to go, gas shut off for gas leak, and not to mention that is just work.

Yet, I feel like I am just good enough for a secretary role.

All she wanted was him.

•October 22, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Its not sex that we want.

•October 21, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Shavasana-‘corpse pose’

•October 20, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Yoga is awesome for me except for the shavasana period.

I like to busy myself to avoid feeling my life. I do it on purpose.

But the result of doing that is my problem with the ten minutes of class dedicated to shavasana. Today, I couldn’t run anymore. All the pain of the last few weeks, rolled down my face to both sides of the mat and I couldn’t stop them.

I had to feel it and it didn’t stop. Thats why I HATE shavasana.

1st wrestling injury

•October 18, 2019 • Leave a Comment

She was in a hold, got flipped over and started screaming.

After two hours in the ER, trying to comfort a 14 year old and convince her that an IV did not mean she was going to stay in the hospital, the verdict was a severe intercostal strain.

Some pain meds in her IV (thank God for the good stuff) and she was telling me to ‘check your man’ (my ex-husband) who wouldn’t stop interrupting her.

I can’t say enough for ER staff who know how to handle people who are scared and in severe pain. They are some serious heroes.

Bitch Face

•October 17, 2019 • Leave a Comment