Archive for the ‘Forgiveness’ Category

I’ll be honest. I’m pretty angry right now. I didn’t know I was. Until yesterday.

Every year, I attend the Global Leadership Summit. Every year, I am moved and inspired in a deep and meaningful way. This year was no exception.

Bill Hybels gave a challenge to everyone to examine ourselves and find out who we needed to forgive in order to be able to move on. It turns out, I was angry at God. Kind of surprised me. I thought God and I were somewhat decent in our relationship. 

Not so much.

God answered my prayer and hundreds of other’s prayers to keep him alive two years ago. But He saw fit for him to not have the same personality. I assumed that I had accepted that. There is nothing I can do to change it. I was overwhelmed suddenly with relief and a torrent of tears and sobbing. I know, classy right? 

A friend asked me a crucial question. “Why do you think that God is unhappy with the failure of your marriage?” 

Simple right? Simple but mind blowing. 

It had never occurred to me that any of this was a part of God’s plan.

 It never occurred to me that my ex-husband had a large part in any of this. 

It never occurred to me that whatever is just around the corner in my life, is so big, that God needed my undivided attention and has gone to this length to get it. 

Earth shattering right? Ok, maybe not earth shattering, but it has sparked a LOT of thinking and reflection on my part. What is next? I have ZERO clue. But rest assured, God has my attention.


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Yes, I totally made up “uber-Christian”. Get over it.

Fireproof took the Christian world by storm. It had decent acting, and a pretty good plot. Don’t get me wrong, I call myself a Christian, but the “happy Christian persona, is a gigantic turnoff for me.

I’m not sure where the Joel Osteen happy, happy, smile, smile, Christianity got started. But I find it repulsive. I don’t want to be told that I have to sing God’s praises when I am elbows deep in the hell of life. Or that I am responsible for this valley that I find myself in. 

That is where true egocentric thinking comes into play. We have a notion that God has orchestrated a perfect storm of life to sneak up on us and take us down. That will teach us.( Yeah, that sounds a lot more stupid here, than in my head. )

That being said, I saw “The Shack” last weekend. Why would I do that to myself you ask? Well, a girlfriend suggested it…..and then something came up last minute that left me there to experience the whole movie alone….

P.S. I will take this moment to caution you about seeing it. If you have experienced sexual abuse, kidnapping, or other traumatic events in your lifetime, bring Kleenex. And a friend.

Now that that is out of the way, this was a deeply moving movie. It was well made and well orchestrated. It touches on forgiveness and everything that results. It treats forgiveness as a process (I hate the word ‘process’) and not an event. As a matter of fact, it treats Christianity as a process and not an event. Which is good for me because I was brought up on the event and agonized  my eternal damnation every time I failed. (Which was a lot, btw).

The most poignant scene in ‘The Shack’ for me was when Wisdom tells the main character to choose one of his children to go to heaven and one to go to hell. Without giving away the end of the movie, the main character (and me, blubbering in my seat like a child) realizes that God sent His son so that He wouldn’t have to choose either. Cue more tears. (Another reason I hate ‘feeling’ movies)

Did it solve my problems? No. 

Did it make me want to do a Bible study over it? Hell no.

Did it make me want to forgive everyone in the world? Um no.

Did it give me a better understanding of God and who He is? Yes. I finally get it. I ‘get’ why people refer to him as ‘Father’. Am I going to call him that now? Probably not. But that’s ok. I get it. 

And THAT is what makes a sappy Uber-Christian movie a GOOD movie.

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