Runaway

I haven’t ever had much experience with runaways.

But the day after Christmas, my youngest daughter ran away after she had been confronted about the fact that she had had alcohol at her Dad’s family event.

(Let me preface this by saying that I am not against letting teens taste and consume small quantities of alcohol. I believe it is important that they taste it before being in an outside environment with other influences present.)

That all being said, I have always had issues with my in-laws flagrant and reckless use of alcohol at all ages, during all functions.

Anyway, my argument should have been had with her father and not her. But, I reacted as I am prone to do when I am horrified. And she blew up and then bolted.

I can tell you, there is no worse feeling then knowing that your 14 year old is out walking the streets of a rough neighborhood after 11pm at night.

My oldest daughter came through in a big way to protect and secure her sister. Idk how she did it, but it was an amazing thing to see now that I think of it.

My heart broke so many times that night and the following days.

How much have I failed as a parent trying to do what I could for her while still keeping up with everything else?

How awful is it, that she felt so alone that her best option was to run?

How much have I let her down through this divorce? I thought I was doing what was best for her. But really, I was more afraid of finding her dead one day when I came home.

Parenting isn’t a spectator sport. Its hard. Really, Really hard.

~ by goddess4ever on December 31, 2019.

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