Don’t tell me that!!!

Don’t tell me that bloodwork is in and that the doctor just has to review it!!!

Thats like handing me a cake pan and telling me that there WILL be cake at some point. I would rather poke myself in the eyeball.

So now waiting is even worse. Anxiety brain is running rampant.

Why haven’t they called yet? Is it so bad that they can’t tell me?????? Is it because my doc is my family doc and he just can’t bear to tell me??? What if she has cancer? How am I going to tell her???? What do I say? How am I going to convince her that she will be ok?? I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this period. Did I do this to her? Is God punishing her for my bad decisions? Is God punishing me through letting her be sick? Is this because I got divorced? Is this because I failed at so many things this year???

Welcome to my brain. I am exhausted.

~ by goddess4ever on October 16, 2019.

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