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Caring for a loved one

The shock of seeing my grandfather emaciated and ill was overwhelming. His pants are ten sizes too big.

Once I put that shock aside, I enjoyed spending the time to feed him, make him comfortable, wait on him, and just sit with him.

His lucidity was up and down which was frustrating but it was nice to hear his voice and know that he knew me.

I asked him silly questions just to pass time and see what he had to say. Like ‘if you could eat anything without worrying about feeling sick, what would you eat?’ He thought a minute and said ‘Filet mignon, medium rare.’ I asked if he would have a baked potato with it and he looked at me with surprise. ‘You can’t eat steak without a baked potato!’ He said. I laughed out loud. It was so nice to know that in-spite of all of the tumors, he was still in there.

Other times he would talk about getting up before reveille even though it was 6pm. Or living on the side of a mountain in a cabin. He has never lived in the mountains. Or he would ask me why the Texans had to be involved in everything. He was a Texan for 20 years.

I love my grandfather. I have never felt so torn in my life, between going home and staying there to care for him.

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~ by goddess4ever on July 16, 2019.

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