I hate cancer.

I want to run so far away right now. I want to curl up in the fetal position and just cry.

Death brings out the worst in people. I am not sure what part of this is worse, watching my grandma lose her husband of over 60 years, watching him die, or whether it is the both of them trying to pretend that this is not happening.

It turns out his body is consumed with cancer. My grandmother is so overwhelmed that her health is suffering.

I want to run away and be somewhere safe. Just for a little while, protected from all this pain.

If ever I needed someone, it is now. It is stupid to need a ‘ground wire’ for this. Stupid that I can’t deal. Stupid that I am trying to be an adult and do the right things. My heart is so broken, I wouldn’t know where to even start right now.

~ by goddess4ever on July 7, 2019.

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