Four years

It has been four years since my ex husband lost his mom and four years and a few weeks since he changed forever.

I guess we both changed. Someone at church seemed puzzled and said “Wow, usually couples become stronger after things like that.”

We went through the same experience but We had to go through it without each other. I had to lean on other people. He changed, but I changed too. And when we tried to fix things, we were too different and too broken. He couldn’t love me anymore and I didn’t have anything left to give him in hopes that he would suddenly remember that he loved me.

And that hurts. I don’t know how someone forgets that you meant something to them once….I don’t understand it. I hate grief.

I am tired of crying. Tired of putting up a brave front for the kids and the rest of the world. I don’t want to hurt anymore…..

~ by goddess4ever on May 26, 2019.

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