Webster Merriam defines a relationship as the way that two people relate to each other.

That definition translates to different things for different people. For the purpose of this post, I am going to refer to a romantic relationship. Wikipedia defines a romantic relationship as an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. It seems as though the physical intimacy is the one that everyone focuses on.

Guys are lucky. Yeah, I said guys are lucky. They can compartmentalize their emotions or feelings to an event or situation. They can feel everything that we feel in a situation but they have the ability to leave those feelings with that situation.

Men are good at the physical intimacy, but they are also just as good at the emotional intimacy, they just don’t realize it. Want to see a man turn white? Throw the word ’emotional’ in a few sentences and he can’t handle it. Society has taught him the sentence ‘men suck at feelings’. Turns out, they are pretty good at feelings.

Emotional intimacy in its simplest form is remembering things about you. Asking about your day. Getting your jokes. That is emotional intimacy. Just don’t tell men that.

Relationships come in all forms. Physical intimacy is crucial but emotional intimacy is critical to bridging the gap between two people. Knowing someone well enough to support their ideas, listen to them vent, laugh together, and even feel pain together is what a relationship is about. And it is priceless.

I keeping hearing how much work that part is. (Three different men in a two week period). No strings, they say. To me, emotional intimacy is akin to breathing. It isn’t work. I love that person. I want to know about them. I want to know that they hate doing the dishes; I want to know that they had a shitty day at work; I want to know that after a full day of dealing with stupid people, they don’t want to talk. That is me. No one is 100% perfect at each facet of a relationship. There is no ‘completion date’ to a relationship, it is a living thing, ever changing, ever growing.

Relationships tend to fall apart when our expectations and desires become more important to us than the person that we are with.

There is something to be said for the person who honestly tells you that they don’t want any emotional intimacy at all and probably won’t ever. As much as it hurts, it is far less destructive than living a lie for years on end, because I am one big ball of knotted strings.

~ by goddess4ever on March 31, 2019.

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