Convo about kissing with a teenager

The dating scene has changed a lot since I did it the first time. Add the ‘single-mom’ moniker to it and it really becomes a shit show. One of my interactions led to a conversation with my almost 17 year old daughter about kissing. It went something like this:

17- “Why do guys want to make out anyways, its disgusting!”

Me-“Obviously you haven’t kissed someone who is good at it.”

17-“Mom. There is nothing enjoyable about kissing. Like ‘get your tongue out of my mouth, wtf.’ Its disgusting. They either try to dislocate a tonsil, or I end up with drool on my face and I don’t know whose it is but either way its gross.”

I am laughing so hard at this point.

Me- “Well, it is hard to find someone who is good at it. The best kisser I ever had was not your Dad, although he came in a not-so-close second.”

17- Stares at me from the side “Mom. For real.”

Me- “I am being for real. There are a lot of bad kissers out there.”

17- “I just don’t see how you can enjoy counting someone’s tastebuds. Like wtf is that? That’s how you get mono and strep throat.

Then your noses touch and there’s breathing weird and what even is that? Do you open your eyes or not?”

At this point, I am crying from laughing so hard.

17- “Really, no one needs to be making out. If someone wants to make out with you, run.”

I have to say, this bodes well as a mom, that she hasn’t met someone who breaks that experience expectation. She is soooooo definitely my child. The scientific ‘observe and report’ nature of her experiences are hilarious.

~ by goddess4ever on March 14, 2019.

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