ADHD- Bear with me

I am between ADHD meds at the moment so my mind wanders all over the place. This latest venture began when I had to pick up papers from the courthouse. Security is always a ball to go through. I got to thinking about how funny people are.

When it comes to being undressed, or searches by security, for them, seeing someone naked isn’t an issue because their eyes are looking for something specific. Like a weapon. I still feel the need to apologize for my physical appearance. You just feel exposed and it is an odd occurrence.

Several years ago, I received acupuncture and had to get undressed. The lady ran her hand over some of my worst stretch marks and said “Wow!! You have some beautiful goddess lines” I blinked. “What do I have??” She explained that stretch marks are called goddess lines. It struck me oddly that someone would be so enamored with my body that I viewed as horribly scarred.

I never ever liked sex in light for that reason. It is funny how we get. It is the worst part of dating I think. The only person I have really been intimate with since the divorce, didn’t seem to mind my body too much. Even seemed to enjoy it. I know I enjoyed his. It is funny how self conscious we get about ourselves and we never put anyone else through that kind of torture. If you put someone through that, you are a horrible person btw.

I miss being loved just for me. I want to be able to focus on being with the opposite sex for awhile. Sex with someone who truly loves you, is phenomenal. Everyone should have that once in their life. The only problem is that when you lose it, no one ever measures up.

People are funny. But 98% of them are exquisite bodies complicated by emotions, pride and expectations. Their hearts wash away any scars, defects, imperfections, or issues. I truly believe that. I want someone else to believe that too.

~ by goddess4ever on December 23, 2018.

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