Homeostasis
The tendency toward a stable state of equilibrium in physiological systems.
I know, not fair to throw that at you on a Sunday morning.
It is fascinating to see the way that lives tend to relax once certain basic needs are met.
For instance, at my office, when someone is having a tumultuous home life- you can tell. It is a domino effect.
For me, this move to an apartment ends a year of anxiety and fear of the unknown. I feel it and I see that my kids feel it. Things begin to fall in place. The brain begins to clear. You start to do things that you haven’t done in months- like baking or sewing. Reading. You might even lose weight.
The tunnel vision goes away. The fight or flight mode starts to take a back seat.
I will never ever look down on a single mother again. It is truly a terrifying thing to go from a societally subservient role (One that I was happy to play for many years) to a sole provider role without a sex change.
I never really understood the ‘glass ceiling’ or ‘male dominated’ terms until I separated from my husband. Watching my ex-husband going through the same processes that I was going through and not having the same hurdles as I did was frustrating.
Now the divorce is final and I have a home. A real home.
It is ok. I am ok. My kids are ok. Homeostasis