Nothing like getting your teeth kicked in- metaphorically.

It has been a ball buster week and if I was a guy, mine would be black and blue.

Idk, what has been the hardest, doing the work of four people and sucking at it? Or sucking at life in general?

I have impossible standards for myself. I know it. Everyone who knows me pretty much knows it. There is nothing, absolutely nothing more humiliating than failing at a simple task. And then being ridiculed for being incompetent.

And then you….

I can’t get you out of my head. You have been there all week and you probably know it.

I don’t understand. I just don’t get why. Why you don’t take that risk. Why you won’t allow yourself to open that door.

Maybe having an ex-spouse with major health events makes me reckless. If that is the case, don’t listen to me. Love is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. And I am no expert. Gasp*

This is different. You see me. And I terrify you. I get that, its pretty much a normal reaction to me. But you see me. And that terrifies me.

I knew you read this a long time ago but I thought you moved on to God knows what. I gave up on dating because it was a shit show, but more of the underlying issue is that I love you. I knew the second that I saw you that you were it. I was done looking.

I am sorry. It is you. Whether you like it or not, (I suspect not). I love you and there isnt a fucking thing you can do about it. Maybe you have moved on and if you have, obviously it is working out for you and I wish you every happiness.

If not………

~ by goddess4ever on September 21, 2018.

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