Myrtle- Small Town Librarian.

I am a great wall builder. I am great at defense mechanisms. I am a stellar fortress for my heart.

Except….

I have let the man that I love in. For honestly, the first time in my life. No one has ever been this far into my heart. Not even my ex husband of 17 years.

I am not sure what that says about me. It could say that I have finally heeled enough from my life that I can let someone in. Or it could mean that this last few year stretch has ruined all of my defenses. I chose to believe it was the first.

Its not that I don’t believe I will never be hurt, he is human and so am I. It IS however, that I know that I love him so much that it doesn’t matter what happens, it is worth working through. I don’t care how much work it is. THIS is the one.

When I was a teenager, I volunteered at the library in the summer. There was an older lady there (Her name was Myrtle (Cute right?!?!)) who told me “Honey, if you meet ‘The One’ you will know” I asked her how i would know. As a teenager, I needed to know how to get this knowledge. She told me that deep down in my soul, I would know.

As the years went by, I got engaged. Loved my husband for 17 years. But I knew he wasn’t The One. I loved him but I couldn’t trust him with my heart and soul. And I knew it. But I was committed to being his wife until the cost to me and my kids actually became detrimental. He can’t help it. At least I hope he can’t help it.

I didn’t think I would ever find ‘The One” and truly believed that that was a bullshit Disney concept. Until Halloween of 2017.

I have thought of Myrtle many many times since then. Wishing that I could talk to her. Wishing she could give me advice on what to do, how to keep it, how to not screw it up. Because I know in my soul, this is him. THE ONE.

~ by goddess4ever on May 29, 2018.

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