My oldest daughter turned 16 today.
I think I had some foolish notion that parenting would get easier the older that they got.
Instead, I worry about more permanent things like, virginity, dating, car accidents, safety because they still trust EVERYONE that they shouldn’t.
I worry that I have scarred them with the divorce, that they will marry drug addicts or someone otherwise abusive. Dramatic, I know.
I worry about things that I can’t control. And the older they get, the more I realize that I have less and less control. And the more I realize that they WILL be hurt and they WILL make mistakes.
Great.
No one warned me very well about how much having children can strip you of all your defenses and leave you completely bare.
That bareness however is essential to tapping into the deepest and strongest feelings of love that I have ever felt. Having children has allowed me to access a part of me that I didnt know was there. A strength. An unconditional love that I am learning to give regardless of the risk to my heart.
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