I need you.
I need my friend. I need to be held. I need you to tell me it will be ok.
Your heartbeat was a sign that everything was ok.
I learned that my ex’s health is what I already knew in my heart. It is has been in decline since the heart attacks. Which I knew. But it is accelerated.
He has a lot of heart damage. I knew he was struggling. I knew it was only a matter of time.
For me the hard part isn’t the loss because I lost him a looong time ago. It is the fact that I have to watch my kids truly lose him.
I hate him for not taking care of himself years ago. I hate him for fighting me on everything. I hate him for hurting my kids by his lasse faire attitude.
I am grasping for anything to hold onto right now. You see, when people see that things are turning bad, they scatter. They don’t know how to deal.
I need a hand to grab. I need a steady voice to tell me that I can do this. I need someone in my corner. My corner is bare and lonely.
I need you.
