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Just let it out….

So I find myself kidless for the next several days. Turns out I like to have them around because I don’t have to feel.

Today on my way home, I pulled the car over to cry. I thought a quick cry would do it but no. A sobbing, truly broken hearted cry. Loneliness and hurt can be easily glossed over in the hustle and bustle of life. Until you can’t gloss over it anymore.

Why? Just why? And the pain keeps surfacing. More than I thought was there.

I love him. Why the fuck can I not turn that shit off?!?! Why does it hurt so much? Why was I not enough? More waves of pain. Ultimately I think this hurts more because I know that it will always hurt like that. That I will always have part of my heart missing. Its soooooo STUPID!!!!

I ended up going to the park so I could be in sunglasses without judgement while the swelling went down around my eyes. You can’t be creepy with sunglasses in the middle of Wal-Mart. But being creepy with sunglasses in the park is TOTALLY acceptable.

FML

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~ by goddess4ever on April 5, 2018.

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