I watched ‘I can only imagine’ in the movie theatre with my best friend today. Fully prepared with non-waterproof mascara (a major influence to keep you grounded during a sad movie (Ladies, you’re welcome!)).
Out of 5 stars, I would give it 3 1/2 stars. It was too real for me. Too much abuse. Too many feelings. Too much heart ache.
Bottom line, the mascara idea was not even a remote thought in my mind as I sobbed in my seat, turning my face into a ratchet horror flick.
It would be a beautiful movie had I not lived so many parts of it. It would be a beautiful movie had I not had my heart blown to bits recently. It would be a beautiful movie if I wasn’t feeling my own scars being uncovered and dusted off.
I think my worst fears are going to be my new reality. I will feel this ache always. I guess it is the risk you take to bare your heart.
Sometimes it gets stomped, sometimes it gets a cold shoulder, sometimes people take parts of it, and sometimes it works out. My ex husband enjoyed living a facade life. The kind where people don’t really know you. I couldn’t live like that anymore. A lot of people cannot handle authenticity.
This movie celebrated a coming to live and accept your story. I am not proud of my story, there is a lot of shame in my story. But I own it. I will not shy away from it. It has made me who I am.
I haven’t even tried to see the movie yet, I’m too scared to. I don’t know if it’s just because I know what it is going to bring and I also know it’s the story of a deep faith and well my faith is gone at the moment.
I would say that owning your story is a good stepping point and our past does make us who we are now. But we can’t forget that it’s not the deciding factor of what we do with the here and now. Terrible things happen and true we can’t change the past no matter how hurtful it is, but we can learn and grow and move on to be something better.
Whether faith in God is involved or not the best people I know are the ones with the scars no one sees. Those with scars are far more loving, relatable, real, brave, passionate, and compassionate than anyone who hasn’t faced a trial.