I always rolled my eyes listening to people describe their relationships. Using words like ‘perfect’ ‘magic’ ‘passionate’ ‘fairy tale’ etc. It is downright annoying. I assumed it was an exaggeration which added to my annoyance.
I got to experience something that was all of those words. I didn’t believe that it existed. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it. I should have paid attention to the movies and conversations that I had had because as quickly as it appeared, it left.
My grandma used to tell me that love was all you needed in a relationship. Well that isn’t true. My last several relationships blow that shit out of the water.
I don’t believe that I will find that again. It was a once in a lifetime deal and it really was magic. Honestly, I don’t ever want anything that doesn’t that doesn’t measure up to that.
So there should be a storybook ‘crazy cat lady non-romance’ somewhere.
I think people make love so complicated. Looking back at my old marriage I thought I had the fairytale ending. Yet here I am comparing my new relationship with my old (which is often frowned upon doing) but my relationship with my bf now is just it is.
Love is there truly and I think the key is we don’t hold expectations for each other and for the relationship. Which goes against the very basis of relationships in meeting the other’s expectation otherwise what is the point? How else do you meet their needs? This goes beyond me asking him to do something and expecting it to get done and vice versa. I think when that deep relationship occurs and is admitted perspective shifts and there is this pressure of what the perfect couple looks like.
Older married couple talk about how love is work and in my previous marriage it was hell of work to the point it was so stressful that it was physically killing me. This relationship I’m in now… is just easy work. I mean we have our moments (typically only when we are off our game like being drunk or sick, hungry or tired). But then again our relationship doesn’t fit the mold. You have to do what’s right for you and what will meet your needs. I think we want there to be this perfect formula To follow and that’s just not the case.
Agreed. Our expectations and definitions of what should be; easily kill the relationship.