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Archive for December, 2017

2018

2017 was hands down the most painful year of my life.

I am ending it full of questions. What next? I am in love again, now what? Do I want to marry again?

My divorce isn’t final after a year of separation. But the reality is that I DO want to be married. I DO want a partner to spend the rest of my life with. I do want to go to plays and laugh and be stupid with someone.

Apparently, I learned nothing from 2017.

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My mom used to say “The longer you live in the monkey house the less likely you are to notice the smell.” I didn’t really pay attention at the time because she was constantly making monkey references for her 6 kid brood. As this year draws to a close, I find myself pausing to think about everything that happened this year.

A hell of a lot of change.

Nobody likes change and I am pretty sure I am the CEO in that boardroom. As this year has passed, I have tried a lot of new things. The statusquo has become more carpediem. You see, my life had gotten so unbelievably stifled that I did not even recognize myself in January.

Today, I am a lot less apologetic of myself and I am hyper aware of slipping back into that monkey house. I can smell it a mile away. I ache for the familiar a lot of the time, but the tradeoff to being vibrant is totally worth it.

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