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Well thats a new one….

So I have had a shitty ass year. Goes without saying. Here is what happened this week.

Aside from pneumonia, I met someone. 

I was not prepared. 

I certainly wasnt about to be excited about it. Guys can fake qualities for a short time so i wasnt too thrilled that i had met someone with an appreciation for my dry sense of humor.

Then the calm came in the middle of a family crisis for me. The steady voice that this was normal and that everything would be ok. What-the-fuck. This guy, that i dont truly know, tempered my freak out. 

Then it happened again. 

I am completely disarmed at this point. What is happening?? God, please dont make me like someone, just to get hurt!! 

Why am I freaking out right now??? Thats a great question. Because I am terrified. This year has been so damn painful, I wasnt expecting to like someone on this level, ever. Its different than anyone that I have ever been with. (Ok fun fact-Ive dated three people in my life) 

I havent laughed this much in a long time. Which also terrifies me. Because goodness knows cynic in me says that this is fleeting. But what if its not?

Who would have thought that a good thing would create sooooooo much anxiety!!!!!

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~ by goddess4ever on November 5, 2017.

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