Well thats a new one….
So I have had a shitty ass year. Goes without saying. Here is what happened this week.
Aside from pneumonia, I met someone.
I was not prepared.
I certainly wasnt about to be excited about it. Guys can fake qualities for a short time so i wasnt too thrilled that i had met someone with an appreciation for my dry sense of humor.
Then the calm came in the middle of a family crisis for me. The steady voice that this was normal and that everything would be ok. What-the-fuck. This guy, that i dont truly know, tempered my freak out.
Then it happened again.
I am completely disarmed at this point. What is happening?? God, please dont make me like someone, just to get hurt!!
Why am I freaking out right now??? Thats a great question. Because I am terrified. This year has been so damn painful, I wasnt expecting to like someone on this level, ever. Its different than anyone that I have ever been with. (Ok fun fact-Ive dated three people in my life)
I havent laughed this much in a long time. Which also terrifies me. Because goodness knows cynic in me says that this is fleeting. But what if its not?
Who would have thought that a good thing would create sooooooo much anxiety!!!!!
