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Safety Net

We all have a safety net in life. A fallback plan.

Some of us (me) have a fallback plan to our fallback plan.

I lost my job this last week. My last safety net. You don’t realize how much mental space that safety net frees up until you lose it. 

It reminds me of the tightrope at the playground. It was maybe 24″ off the ground. It had waist high ropes for you to hold onto. And sand underneath. I remember falling off (I’m accident prone, what can I say) and getting a sand burn on my knee. What the hell?!?! All those safety measures and I still hurt myself! 

After all the losses this year, I remember that stupid rope. The safety net of a job and a spouse with a job, is gone……well now what?

That question, “Now what?” I didn’t have a third safety net…… I didn’t plan for this…..what now? I wasn’t ready for this! Why God?? What the hell?!?!

God outplanned me. I shouldn’t be surprised. It is His MO after all. I keep coming back to the word ‘trust’. I hate that word. I don’t like not be in control. I don’t like relying on other people. 

God outplanned me so good that now I have to do both. I’m sure there is a litany of lessons in that. I am just not going to like learning them. 

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~ by goddess4ever on July 27, 2017.

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