When the marriage has gotten so toxic, so destructive, and so costly to your wellbeing that it has no hope of redemption, it’s time to admit the burn.
When you see a person who has turned into a roasted mass, you don’t see them as a whole person. You look, scrunch up your face and go “oooooooooooh that’s gonna hurt later”. You don’t see character, personality, or anything other than blaring red pain.
As this blaring red marriage starts to fade, I am left wondering who the hell I really am. What do I like? Can I really be a single parent? Do I have to join Farmer’s Only.com for a relationship? Should I just be single for the rest of my life?
There is no one to balance me out anymore. No one to say “whoa, calm down neurotic Nancy”. No one to say “everything is going to be ok” even when it isn’t.
I’m ready for the sunburn to go away, but I am scared of seeing what is underneath…………..
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