My husband’s illness was quite a ride. And it isn’t over. But the most painful issue for me is the realization that not only has he changed, I have changed. That wasn’t supposed to happen!
I knew he would change, I mean, if he didn’t he would be some sort of circus freak right? But I was not looking for the change in myself. I find my emotions off. Numb. Cold and indifferent.
Crazy? No.
Fed up? Oh yeah.
Yes he learned that life is short, but so did I. I learned that the simple care and concern from his friends fed my world in a way that showed me very clearly that my soul had been starved. Starved of simple affection. Oh sure, I am told that he loves me everyday. But that isn’t enough.
I guess time will tell.
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